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On January 9th 2008, a woman in New Zealand called 111, the emergency services line. While on the call she can be heard desperately trying to open her daughters locked bedroom door. She can hear a rhythmic thumping sound from the room and she is panicking. She manages to open it and screams “He’s killed her!” before the door can be heard slamming shut.

The case highlighted the outdated legal defence of provocation, and brought much needed change to the country.





USA - National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)

UK - Domestic Violence Helpline 0345 023 468

Know The Signs:

Emotional abuse

Does your partner ever:

  • belittle you, or put you down?

  • blame you for the abuse or arguments?

  • deny that abuse is happening, or downplay it?

  • isolate you from your family and friends?

  • stop you going to college or work?

  • make unreasonable demands for your attention?

  • accuse you of flirting or having affairs?

  • tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go, and what to think?

  • control your money, or not give you enough to buy food or other essential things?

  • monitor your social media profiles, share photos or videos of you without your consent or use GPS locators to know where you are?

Threats and intimidation

Does your partner ever:

  • threaten to hurt or kill you?

  • destroy things that belong to you?

  • stand over you, invade your personal space?

  • threaten to kill themselves or the children?

  • read your emails, texts or letters?

  • harass or follow you?

Physical abuse

The person abusing you may hurt you in a number of ways.

Does your partner ever:

  • slap, hit or punch you?

  • push or shove you?

  • bite or kick you?

  • burn you?

  • choke you or hold you down?

  • throw things?

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse can happen to anyone.

Does your partner ever:

  • touch you in a way you do not want to be touched?

  • make unwanted sexual demands?

  • hurt you during sex?

  • pressure you to have unsafe sex – for example, not using a condom?

  • pressure you to have sex?

If your partner has sex with you when you do not want to, this is rape.

Have you ever felt afraid of your partner?

Have you ever changed your behaviour because you're afraid of what your partner might do?

If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, there are lots of people who can help you.

1 in 3 cases of domestic violence and abuse against women starts during pregnancy. If the relationship is already abusive, it can get worse.

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